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A high school student posted online asking for a “complete review” — “including everything important” — of an assigned book she said she wouldn’t have time to read before school started in 11 days.
She posted a list of excuses as to why the 240-page novel was just too much for her to finish: She didn’t get her school’s book list until a month ago. She was busy. Her library was being remodeled. The book was on hold already. She’s a slow reader.
The excuses didn’t cut it for D.C. Pierson, the author of the assigned novel “The Boy Who Couldn’t Sleep and Never Had To.” He replied to the student’s post on Yahoo! Answers on Sunday but didn’t let her off.
"First off, I’m really excited that my book is being suggested for summer reading. On the other hand, I’m bummed out that you don’t want to try and finish it, and not even because you think it’s bad, but just because it seems like work instead of like fun," Pierson wrote.
The young adult novel is about a high school outcast who befriends a teenager with a secret — he never sleeps. Word of the friend’s unusual condition spreads, and the two are forced to go on the run.
"I think you’ll find there’s a ton more sex, swearing and drugs in my book than anything else you have been or will be assigned in high school," Pierson wrote in his Yahoo! Answers reply.
Instead of begging the Internet to read for her, Pierson suggested the student try reading the book aloud for an hour a night, or gather a group of friends from school to take turns reading. “I recently had to read it aloud for an audio book edition, and we recorded it in about 10 hours, and I was not reading fast at all,” Pierson wrote, trying to encourage the student to forge ahead with the novel.
"Maybe one of these other kids will be so impressed with your oratory skills you guys will end up making out. That would be pretty cool, right?" he wrote.
The student, who it appears resides in the U.K., has not responded to Pierson on the thread. Maybe she’s busy reading the book after all.
On Sunday, Pierson, who is also an actor and comedian, tweeted a screen shot of the Yahoo! Answers thread and a link to his Tumblr, where the post has received more than 12,000 likes.
Oh, and by the way, D.C. Pierson (along with Donald Glover) is a co-founder of Derrick Comedy and starred as the “boy-genius” in Mystery Team.